I will expect respect, though I am not to be feared.
So, off you go to http://uslove.com/ - or call 949 999-5900 and do tell them Saffron sent you (it's my middle name). I am extension 611.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
So when I moved from just sharing with people online to real life that, as you can imagine, was a major transition for both of us.
When I first began exploring all that I might desire it started with erotica, reading and writing. Then I joined a website where you chatted with people. Didn't really love that as it all seemed about cyber sex and that just didn't do much for me. So I found another site where I would post tasks for submissives who were also part of the site to do and report on. I found this interaction stimulating and certainly inspiring. The give and take, the exchange was significant. Some were disappointing, but many people and experiences I shared with in this way were wonderful. It was about this time that I began this blog.
In sharing at the tasking site I did make some real and wonderful friends and with several I began interacting via IM. This led to four significant online D/s relationships. And if you are so inclined you can go back and read some of my older posts and see the structure of them. Although I do have to say, I do not kiss and tell all of what I share. I tend to tease you a bit with this and that. Writing often in third person that allows a bit of the fantasy aspect of these posts to twist around you as you read. As is true often with any relationship there is always change, and online is no different. Some of these relationships have ended, some have transformed, but all were wonderful for what they were, when they were.
But these relationship, the exchanges, the emotions, the passion were and are very real. This is just not the exchange of fantasy, but submission in a real and tangible way. The Internet as it has evolved has allowed for all new ways to communicate and share. With IM chat, with cameras, with voice chat, emailed instructions, online journaling. You can touch a mind in so many sexy ways. And my directions being executed even thousands of miles away is still a powerful erotic thing. The submission I am offered, the pain that is endured, the sharing of desires... all of it is wonderful.
But I always knew I wanted more. And Hubby and I up to that point had discussed and shared all of this. And one day someone pointed me to a social networking website FetLife . And I dove in deep into that pool. And it was only a matter of a couple months before someone posted about having a group get together (also called a munch) local. And deeper I dove, dragging my very good natured Hubby along with me. And the surprise of that first meeting... these were nice people. Only four of us at that first meeting. But we sat in the small local bar and shared stories and experiences (or in my case lack of experiences) and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. And after that, meeting more people. And then more. And then, actual play with people who had a wealth of experience and willingness to share. And friendships and more friendships and all sorts of naughty, floggers and whips, paddles and canes, electricity, foot worship, spanking benches and crosses, clubs and private homes, and the wax, and the needles. I have tried and experienced and gone with flow whatever that might be. Each step of the way, Hubby and I talk. We decided what will be okay for us and for our marriage.
Many of you may find this hard to believe, but somehow he is more comfortable with me sharing with a female rather than a male. Gloves, that is where we are at now with the whole sharing with a boy issue. If I am going to play with a boy, and I am, have, will, do, Hubby has asked that I wear gloves. This is a symbolic gesture that I can certainly comply with, the theory being that my hands should only touch him. Some reason the gloves aren't necessary when I stroke a girl's pretty ass. Oh, and no penetrative sex with a male... either way, giving or receiving. That is another one that he has asked of me. And I will respect that request.
It is forever evolving and such an interesting time in our lives. While Hubby isn't always the most talkative man, he will share his feelings with me honestly. Our communication is always honest and open. And what he does say, I listen to. That is so vitally important in any relationship, but when exploring outside the "norm" the need does seem to grow exponentially.
Do I want more? Well sure, I am greedy and dominant. I read some of the blogs and feel acute envy at not being able to have a submissive in all the ways I desire. But, having a happy, healthy relationship with Hubby is more important than anything else. We all make compromises. I am honest with those I do share in a BDSM way with about the limitations I have and on what I can offer. We all make choices, and I allow anyone I might play with, have a relationship with know exactly what their choices are with me.
And so, this Saturday, I will wear gloves when spanking his cute ass.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
See you all soon.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Etymology: International Scientific Vocabulary, from Marquis de Sade
1 : a sexual perversion in which gratification is obtained by the infliction of physical or mental pain on others (as on a love object) — compare masochism
2 a : delight in cruelty b : excessive cruelty
I am a sadist.
But I would say my desires are probably defined by definition 2a. It is that I delight in the exchange, the enduring of what I might offer to a submissive who desires the pain I want to inflict. It is not simply beating on someone for the sake of the act. But rather the give and take of it all.
Hubby likes a little smack now and then. But gentle caresses in-between. I can do that. And once warmed up, he likes it just a little harder. Maybe just a pretty pink on that cute ass of his. And if I do it just right, he gets very revved up and very in the mood for anything else I have in mind. Well anything else as long as it is sex. So a bit of pain, can be a bit of foreplay for us.
I share with others when the opportunity arises. I have no committed submissive who lives close to me (not that I am not looking). But have a wonderful group of kinky, naughty friends and their tastes and needs and wants range from mild to excessively wild when it comes to pain. The pretty girl with the pink hair in earlier posts... she wears me out. I can not give her enough. But while we play she moans and cries out so beautifully. The boy I shared with recently was gorgeous under my hand and paddle. To see proof that what I was doing was what he desired, yes I am talking about a lovely hard on, was so very sexy.
I like to make toys to use. It is wonderfully fun to get creative and know the work I put into something leather or wood will bring a unique pleasure to me and that one who offers their body to me. But they offer more, they give me their mind as well. The exchange is nothing without that.
But no matter the tool in my hand, or even better often my own bare hand skimming across soft, supple, willing skin, it is the exchange, the give and take of desire and longing, that brings me delight as I offer my cruelty.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
New flogger... stiff and supple leather combined,
pebbles: 2 nipples
Defy Gravity: 2 nipples
butterfly: 1 nipple, 1 belly button, 1 clitoral hood
Miss Michele's boy: 1 guiche
Miss Honey: 1 ear
Humanbeing: 2 nipples
Miss Michele: 1 belly button
Sage: stretching 2 nipples to 8G
mysticalshan: 2 nipples
A possible SashaL: unknown piercing
SAMmybear: 2 ears
MrMental: 2 ears
Livingdeadgirl: 1 belly button
Possible friend of Sage: 2 nipples
An accouterment of onlookers
So at 4 pm on Sunday I will be at the Corona Tattoo & Piercing Parlor with this wild and wonderful group. And after we are heading to a bar to toast all the new holes in the world. Yes, and that is my name there with just one little ear piercing. But I am in charge of holding hands and taking pictures. :) Should be a fun day.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
I want to use you. I want my pleasure to be the only thing that really matters. Oh, I am fairly certain when all is said and done you will release that pent up need that is deep inside. You will moan and cry out. But not before I have had my fill. Not before I am satiated, not before me.
No, we are not going to do it that way. You said, anything. And look what I brought. Now, now…. shhhhhh… hush now. You are already tied, you can struggle all you want. This is the anything I want. No, don’t look away. Look at me as I get ready to take what I want. And I do so want this. I want to fuck you. I promise you will be safe with me. Yes, that is a good boy. Look here at how it fits so nicely. Yes, look you are excited about the possibility. I knew you would be. And so am I.
Kiss me. That is it. Give me your mouth. Let me taste you. Shhhhhhh, just kiss me. I promise, I will go very, very slowly. Before I am done you will be begging me for what you are afraid of. Yes, your tongue is so sweet there on my lips. I know you want to touch me. I can see you straining at the ropes. But you are just going to have to feel me touching you. Teasing you. Biting you. Licking, sucking, fucking you. No, keep your eyes open, the lights are staying on. You are going to be aware of everything.
Yes, you are a very good boy. And I want to fuck you. May I?
Monday, August 3, 2009
But there was a funny moment that I thought I might share with you. Not really kinky... but it did involve being naked, sort of. So I am outside reading in the sunshine and I hear from inside the house my dad say, "What the hell. No one is naked." He is clearly unhappy. I set my book down and get up to see what is the problem inside. There is my dad sitting in his easy chair watching TV.
"Dad, what's wrong?"
"There are no naked women at all on this program," he states clearly unhappy. I turn to the TV and start to giggle. It was a special, a live concert recorded somewhere in the world.
My father declared if there weren't actually bare naked ladies in the band they should not be able to call themselves that. I just laughed and agreed, sometimes that is best with a man unhappy that he isn't looking at naked women, but rather a group of canadian singers.