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Let's Talk...

I am interested in talking to you. What excites you? What is on your mind? I would love to know and share. Do you have a question that you would like to discuss? Do you need to have someone understand your desires? Let us see what we have to talk about.

I will expect respect, though I am not to be feared.

So, off you go to - or call 949 999-5900 and do tell them Saffron sent you (it's my middle name). I am extension 611.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Well Gloved

As much as I do admire some there on my sidebar who are able to live a D/s lifestyle 24/7 with their partners it is not my life. My husband is kinky, naughty, fun, wonderful... but not my submissive. He will serve me out of care and love, but not in a submissive way. We may enjoy a bit of bondage, the occasional spanking and he is always willing to let me test my new toys on his cute ass, but has no real concept of sub space, will never be into humiliation play, or any of the more edgy stuff I may want to experience. Our life daily is loving, caring and primarily vanilla with a bit of a caramel swirl and a few candy sprinkles (to abuse the metaphor to its sweetest).

So when I moved from just sharing with people online to real life that, as you can imagine, was a major transition for both of us.

When I first began exploring all that I might desire it started with erotica, reading and writing. Then I joined a website where you chatted with people. Didn't really love that as it all seemed about cyber sex and that just didn't do much for me. So I found another site where I would post tasks for submissives who were also part of the site to do and report on. I found this interaction stimulating and certainly inspiring. The give and take, the exchange was significant. Some were disappointing, but many people and experiences I shared with in this way were wonderful. It was about this time that I began this blog.

In sharing at the tasking site I did make some real and wonderful friends and with several I began interacting via IM. This led to four significant online D/s relationships. And if you are so inclined you can go back and read some of my older posts and see the structure of them. Although I do have to say, I do not kiss and tell all of what I share. I tend to tease you a bit with this and that. Writing often in third person that allows a bit of the fantasy aspect of these posts to twist around you as you read. As is true often with any relationship there is always change, and online is no different. Some of these relationships have ended, some have transformed, but all were wonderful for what they were, when they were.

But these relationship, the exchanges, the emotions, the passion were and are very real. This is just not the exchange of fantasy, but submission in a real and tangible way. The Internet as it has evolved has allowed for all new ways to communicate and share. With IM chat, with cameras, with voice chat, emailed instructions, online journaling. You can touch a mind in so many sexy ways. And my directions being executed even thousands of miles away is still a powerful erotic thing. The submission I am offered, the pain that is endured, the sharing of desires... all of it is wonderful.

But I always knew I wanted more. And Hubby and I up to that point had discussed and shared all of this. And one day someone pointed me to a social networking website FetLife . And I dove in deep into that pool. And it was only a matter of a couple months before someone posted about having a group get together (also called a munch) local. And deeper I dove, dragging my very good natured Hubby along with me. And the surprise of that first meeting... these were nice people. Only four of us at that first meeting. But we sat in the small local bar and shared stories and experiences (or in my case lack of experiences) and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. And after that, meeting more people. And then more. And then, actual play with people who had a wealth of experience and willingness to share. And friendships and more friendships and all sorts of naughty, floggers and whips, paddles and canes, electricity, foot worship, spanking benches and crosses, clubs and private homes, and the wax, and the needles. I have tried and experienced and gone with flow whatever that might be. Each step of the way, Hubby and I talk. We decided what will be okay for us and for our marriage.

Many of you may find this hard to believe, but somehow he is more comfortable with me sharing with a female rather than a male. Gloves, that is where we are at now with the whole sharing with a boy issue. If I am going to play with a boy, and I am, have, will, do, Hubby has asked that I wear gloves. This is a symbolic gesture that I can certainly comply with, the theory being that my hands should only touch him. Some reason the gloves aren't necessary when I stroke a girl's pretty ass. Oh, and no penetrative sex with a male... either way, giving or receiving. That is another one that he has asked of me. And I will respect that request.

It is forever evolving and such an interesting time in our lives. While Hubby isn't always the most talkative man, he will share his feelings with me honestly. Our communication is always honest and open. And what he does say, I listen to. That is so vitally important in any relationship, but when exploring outside the "norm" the need does seem to grow exponentially.

Do I want more? Well sure, I am greedy and dominant. I read some of the blogs and feel acute envy at not being able to have a submissive in all the ways I desire. But, having a happy, healthy relationship with Hubby is more important than anything else. We all make compromises. I am honest with those I do share in a BDSM way with about the limitations I have and on what I can offer. We all make choices, and I allow anyone I might play with, have a relationship with know exactly what their choices are with me.

And so, this Saturday, I will wear gloves when spanking his cute ass.


Miss Christina said...

This is an amazing post, and I really enjoyed reading your thoughts and your wisdoms. I am so happy for you and for hubby that you two found a happy balance for you to have that more you craved. I always knew deep down that you craved more than could be satisfied in the sort of relationship we shared, even though that was so hard for me to accept because I wasn't yet at the place you were at for wanting that something more. I know that it wasn't easy, but we have both come very far since our time together last summer. And your gloved hand is very sexy and tell hubby that "marie" said that was a very symbolic choice and I thought it was nice and creative of him. Actually also, I am not going by Miss Christina, decided to ditch the Marie because I have come farther too and grown a lot and want to share in this lifestyle with my real first name, and just be myself. No more fantasy of Miss Marie, I am just me. So if you don't mind maybe you can change my name where ever you need to, like on Honey's Hotties on my post, and your blog rolls.

Thanks for sharing all of this here. HUGS! And when you get a minute on IM I really want to ask you about doing a special favor for me and Sam. When you get a second.

Miss Christina said...

oops i meant to write that I am NOW going by Miss Christina, not NOT, LOL.

bdenied said...

we learn something each day and today I learned a lot about you guys....

Miss Honey said...

Christine... done. :) No problem. Nice to see your own evolution.

bdenied... I do hope you enjoyed or were interested in what you learned. :)

Miss Christina said...

Oh shoot...not to be a total pain in the ass but can you change them to Christina, not Christine. Christine has always been my biggest pet peeve in life. Pretty please! I can beg if you want me to.

Anonymous said...

First and foremost, thank you for your lovely comment on my Van Morrison post. All i can say is that i'm glad i followed its lead here.

Anonymous said...

"You can touch a mind in so many sexy ways."

I decided over the weekend to leave you a comment about how you have gotten into my head, Miss Honey - long before I read your last few posts, and of course, before I read that particular quote.

The story is too lengthy to post here as a comment, but suffice it to say I was surprised when thoughts of you came to my mind, and then more surprised to see how quickly those thoughts converted to a real physical manifestation of sexual arousal.

Your way with words is truly sexy and you have touched my mind.

Miss Honey said...

Thank you all for your lovely comments and compliments. Ms B, I just so enjoy your blog, I am honored you have come to visit me. Con, what a wonderful thing to know I touch your mind in such a way. Thank you for sharing, please post again if something I have written has made an impression I always love to know such things.

acker said...

I always admire you for your absolute honesty and devotion to your relationships, your D/s relationships you shared and (luckily still) share), but especially the only one special relationship with Hubby. You are such a dedicated couple, and the way in which you both handle surfing the waves of BDSM is only an example of that.

The things he asked of you are such powerful signals. That is both important for you to be happy with sharing with others knowing Hubby is fine with it, and for Hubby to know that you are playing by the rules that you both agreed on..

Oh and besides.. those gloves are so deliciously naughty and mistressy.. and penetration can be done in so many other ways.. by other girls... under your watchfull eye ;)