More More More

I am offered submission by some who crave it. I take from them what they want to offer to me. I take from them what I tell them to do after learning what it is that turns them on.

But everyday I seem to want more. And defining what that more is, well that has always been the challenge.

I share, I learn and I grow, I enjoy it all. I still want more. I think for a moment. This will be enough. This will fill me up. And then... it doesn't. This isn't meant to diminish what I am offered by those who give me their submission, but rather to say, that I have yet to find the balance within myself that says this is all I need.

I find left alone too long I grow dissatisfied and restless. And I wonder where this need comes from?

I want interaction. I want contact. I want to connect on some personal level that is real for them and for me. I want to know... everything. No detail seems trivial to me, but rather it is another piece in the puzzle of those I share with.

I am greedy for time. I seldom beg for it, but rather my unhappiness I am sure shows when I am not given all I want. I am greedy for attention. Oh, that hurts to say, because we are taught not to be. Stay quiet and only take what you are given. But I want more. Not the attention of the masses... no... I want singular attention... to me and my wants and desires, by the individual who says what I want to hear. But will their actions show me, fill me, give me these things? But in that is such responsibility, for then I have to express clearly and in detail what my wants and desires are.

And so I go looking for more. More of what is still the question?